I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
