I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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