Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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