I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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