Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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