talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
