I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
my liver is dry heaving
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
