We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
