This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
