I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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