I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize