She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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