their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
