gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
