Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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