Can i not drive my cunt home
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
