Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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