why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
