We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
