im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize