hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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