I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
