she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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