I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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