Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
