I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
