Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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