remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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