community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
