There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
