Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
