Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How external is "for external use only"?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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