He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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