i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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