meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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