I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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