this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
