why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
