Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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