But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize