Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
