What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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