Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
