Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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