Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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