The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
