I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
