Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
