The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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