If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize