I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
