Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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