I heard we made out
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
