I accidentally had phone sex last night
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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