Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.

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  (304): he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding. http://tfl.nu/d3lt
  Replies (26) Good night (6161) Bad night (851)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me

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  (732): my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me http://tfl.nu/ef5u
  Replies (12) Good night (4880) Bad night (1704)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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  (248): you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion." http://tfl.nu/tkud
  Replies (12) Good night (5614) Bad night (1284)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.

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  (251): Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game. http://tfl.nu/jamc
  Replies (18) Good night (5048) Bad night (1020)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1785) Bad night (4214)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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  (256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i
  Replies (6) Good night (4097) Bad night (947)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.

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  (503): Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack. http://tfl.nu/t9kk
  Replies (3) Good night (2913) Bad night (638)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (947) Bad night (1266)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.

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  (716): I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like. http://tfl.nu/y2at
  Replies (7) Good night (1281) Bad night (566)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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  (618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss
  Replies (4) Good night (1250) Bad night (383)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.

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  (682): You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed. http://tfl.nu/c6kp
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (411)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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  (832): I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM! http://tfl.nu/isug
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (318)
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  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
  Replies (1) Good night (962) Bad night (272)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny

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  (201): I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny http://tfl.nu/83h3
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (334)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (297)

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