dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"