Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.