You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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