I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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